seriously watching couple together do make people feel jealous
which i ususally deny but it true that it make people jealous.
just that i say say only.suddenly bit moody.with no one in mind to talk , but somehow it shouldn't stay long and must not.





all had kept their door shut from me.
i tried to open those doors and it seem so tightly shut that superman wont even be able to open it.the more i struggle the more doors it appear.i struggle through the first and there so much more , and there arent no one to help , no one to confide.all i knew that i was alone from the start.a foolish step from the begining.a angel appear and told me , this is what you choosen.accept it and face the consequence.somehow it quite big for me.i needed help.yet i didnt know how to recieve help , i thought i given help but than are they for real or are they just lieing through their teeth no people know , and i didnt want to know for at least i tried. i managed to run out but what infront was something more fearful than others.it my greatest fear , it a fear that somehow i cant understand , a fear which i dont know it doesnt exist , i didnt know what it here for , nor i knew what it would do. i ran as fast as i could.shouting for help but who are there to help me.as i ran i saw faces , faces of people laughing at me , mocking at me. i suddenly realise that it the human heart that i fear. the mindset , how they could bring me down with just talking , i cried but no tears came out , and the sky seem to pity me , rain was pouring down and everything dissapear.it a relive for me and i knew it a short one.i knew i had to contine running , i had to run for my own freedom , for my own , just my own. what infront of me now was a raindow , raindow after rainfall , how could it be fake. i saw garden there , people there playing with each other , having fun. it seem so peaceful they even asked me to join in.i hesitated but than joined in , what there to fear anyway. when i joined in , everyone disappeared. just leaving me and my pitful self.i only had myself to blame for everything