this feeling suck
and it killing me


i had done my part as a friend.
i had rot and died there.
i had it twice but not thrice.
this time i shall prove it wrong.



the feeling is killing me.
fuck me for having this thought.
fuck me for having this brain.
but dont fuck me cause this is who i am.
i can laugh at the smallest thing.
i also can be angry at the smallest thing.



different people different respect
different people different treatment.
i had look at it.
and found that it really real.
or i should say it true.
not all get the fair treatment.
but than.it still the world.
you cant possibly change it to what you want to be.
i had done some thing in the song.
i mean the lyrics.
but it doesnt prove any long term good.
it only relive me for the time being.
but than it is good enough.


i do not want to have such thought.
but i dont control how it think
i only control how it move.
till than.
i shall make a stand.
but i will not confess anything.
silence will do the trick.



derek.that what i am doing just now.
the above thing was what i was typing just now.
some of it only.



we get different treatment from a same person.
we can tell from his/her actions.
but than we kept quiet.
trying to make them notice of it.
but it doesnt work.
some make a stand and talk about it.
some just kept quiet
and wait thing to be changed.
which is unlikey true.



my com was most possibly better.